Selah March

November 21, 2006

I Got Nothin’

Filed under: Uncategorized — Selah March @ 9:11 am
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Does there ever dawn a day in your life when you’ve got nothing to say? To anyone? At all?

My sister calls, and chats and chats and CHATS in my ear, and I answer her with monosyllabic grunts. My husband tries to engage me in conversation on important topics like “have the glass people called about that broken window yet?” or “does the van need an oil change?” or “I see the boy aced his spelling test this week,” and I sort of stare dully and shrug. The kids come bouncing in with tales of fourth grade doings, and I give them the stink-eye. They slink away, muttering about “bad moods” and “she loves that computer more than us.” Bad sister, bad wife, really REALLY bad mommy.

But dedicated writer. Because although it appears as if I’m falling fast into catatonia — or, at the very least, a truly monumental bout of seasonal depression — I’m in fact living a book in my head. Listening to characters talk to me and each other. Looking at plot developments from different points of view. Trying on different openings and endings for size. Thinking about market and word count and wondering if the story blossoming in my head is worth the effort, when there are at least seven other incomplete manuscripts on my hard drive, waiting for attention.

Generally, it only takes a day or two for me to snap out of what my family calls “the funk.” But in the meantime, I can be a challenge to live with. Quiet and docile if no one’s bothering me, dispensing mommy-and-wifely service with a snarl when absolutely necessary, and a raving bitch when somebody gets between me and my keyboard during the periods I feel are MY WRITING TIME, dammit.

I’m trying to learn to curb this unpleasant trait. I’ve always said “family first, writing second” (at least until the writing starts to pay off seriously, and then the entire family’s priorities may need to shift a bit) but when a cast of characters present themselves on the stage in my brain and start performing three act plays, it’s tough not to get sucked in.

Does anyone else suffer from this malady? Am I alone in devolving into a snappish beastie when the make-believe takes over? I’m really sort of sad about it. It’s not who I want to be.

In other news, everybody who’s anybody hates Miss Snark. Mostly, I’d like to know how any agent worth her salt — or her commission — has enough free time on her hands to spend it eviscerating both willing newbies and NYT bestselling authors. Between that and her rabid George Clooney droolage (as if, baby) I’d think her daily schedule would be too full to do much actual representing of authors. But what do I know? Very little, it would seem, compared to the Snarklings, who are a vast and mighty army in defense of their mistress.

May you have much for which to be thankful. Have a great holiday. 🙂

SelahMarch.com – Romance of Dubious Virtue

4 Comments »

  1. *raises hand*

    I get like that. But I rampage instead of withdrawling. Your way sounds quieter. Mebbe I should try that.

    Comment by Eva Gale — November 21, 2006 @ 12:15 pm | Reply

  2. Me too.

    Depends on where I am in the manuscript, how virulent I get. I’ve never said, “Jesus, why do we have to talk about this NOW? Why don’t you leave me the fuck alone?” but I’ve thought it more than once.

    Comment by Ann(ie) — November 21, 2006 @ 6:13 pm | Reply

  3. Okay, this makes me feel better. Thank you. 🙂

    Comment by Selah March — November 21, 2006 @ 7:09 pm | Reply

  4. Most definitely. I’ll get to the stage where, unless I’m asked a direct question, ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers are all you’re gonna get, if I’m listening at all.

    I’ve got too much going on in my head to worry about real people and their issues.

    I’ve even been known to walk away from a conversation without being aware of it, because, damn it, I have to write something down.

    My family understands that, though, for which I am eternally thankful. And when I’m done, I return to being a fully functional member of society.

    Comment by Jaye Patrick — November 23, 2006 @ 9:15 pm | Reply


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