Selah March

November 30, 2007

Google THIS.

Filed under: Uncategorized — Selah March @ 8:19 am
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So PBW wants to know who my dream publicist would be (check comments here for full conversation on topic). You know…in the unlikely case that I’ll ever need a publicist at all.

Tom Welling or Josh Holloway? Tom Colicchio or Michael Kors? (Barb suggests Jensen Ackles, but that would never work. Brain-melting lust is detrimental to a solid working relationship. Plus I’d asphyxiate myself by feeling compelled to keep my little Buddha-belly sucked back against my tailbone at all times while in his presence. Blue-in-the-face STILL isn’t a good look for me.)

Any publicist of mine would need nerves of steel, a strong stomach, and the ability to chuckle through all manner of adversity. And he or she would have to find a way to impart a little class to this operation. Not an easy mission when the following Google search terms lead straight to my door:

“smut writers” – (You rang? And hey…top of the page! Mom would be so proud.)

“high school stereotypes” – (Started out as The Brain. Ended up as The Slut. Shit happens.)

“three holes, no waiting” – (Not yet, but I’m not ruling it out. In my FICTION, people. Jeez.)

“does anal sex sell at ellora’s cave” – (You bet your seven-speed vibrating butt-plug it does, darlin’.)

I dunno why, but when I try to envision my perfect publicist, I hear this voice in my head: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Hmm. Smart, loyal, brave, good with a weapon, not afraid to get down and dirty when the circumstance calls for it.

Yeah. He’ll do.

SelahMarch.com – Romance of Dubious Virtue

17 Comments »

  1. And don’t forget ambidextrous.

    Comment by Barbara Caridad Ferrer — November 30, 2007 @ 9:12 am | Reply

  2. *sigh*

    My search terms are all so BORING in comparison.

    I need to start posting on ambidextrous vibrating anal pluggers with … ticklers.

    Yeah, that ought to do it.

    Comment by Eva Gale — November 30, 2007 @ 10:43 am | Reply

  3. I love you. Perfect.

    “I swear on the soul of my father, Domingo Montoya, you will reach the top alive.”

    Comment by Lynn Viehl — November 30, 2007 @ 10:46 am | Reply

  4. I think Sawyer fits your description perfectly. Alas, he’s mine.

    Comment by Tate — November 30, 2007 @ 1:02 pm | Reply

  5. “(You bet your seven-speed vibrating butt-plug it does, darlin’.)”

    LMAO!

    Thanks to my Lora Leigh reviews,the mentioning of Gabaldon’s spanking scene as well as margarine as anal lube from Last Tango in Paris- I get some very interesting search terms as well!!

    “Tom Welling or Josh Holloway? Tom Colicchio or Michael Kors? (Barb suggests Jensen Ackles …”

    I see you have EXCELLENT taste in tv viewing- I know who all of those fine men are too! Although I wouldn’t consider Kors among the sexier.

    Comment by Zeek — November 30, 2007 @ 1:20 pm | Reply

  6. The voice of Inigo is great-just not Mandy.

    Comment by Eva Gale — November 30, 2007 @ 3:02 pm | Reply

  7. ahh eff me, I love The Princess Bride.

    Comment by Zeek — November 30, 2007 @ 3:08 pm | Reply

  8. Yeah, me too.

    I think I need to watch it tonight with some popcorn.

    Comment by Eva Gale — November 30, 2007 @ 7:52 pm | Reply

  9. Zeek! Shame on you. That was butter.

    Comment by Kate R — November 30, 2007 @ 8:15 pm | Reply

  10. Oh good. Because what this blog really needs to generate hits is a reference to Marlon Brando and anal lube.

    You got somethin’ against Mr. Patinkin, Eva? I make Christmas cookies with his Broadway albums playing softly in the background, because I’m a huge GIRL like that. :p

    Lynn~ “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

    That’s what I tell my children as I tuck them in at night. Keeps their expectations at a reasonable level, don’tcha know.

    Comment by Selah — December 1, 2007 @ 9:43 am | Reply

  11. kate? Butter? really?? man I can’t remember??? The googling is always for margarine!!

    “Oh good. Because what this blog really needs to generate hits is a reference to Marlon Brando and anal lube”

    Selah- post it, they will come!

    And I’m telling you, that one spanking reference has gotten me all kinds of dirty google searches coming in …

    Comment by Zeek — December 1, 2007 @ 2:35 pm | Reply

  12. With all dead there’s only one thing you can do–go through their pockets and look for loose change.

    Comment by Kate R — December 1, 2007 @ 10:21 pm | Reply

  13. “Give us the gate key.”

    “Gate key? I Have no gate key.”

    “Fezzic, rip off his arms.”

    “Oh, you mean this gate key.”

    Comment by Zeek — December 2, 2007 @ 3:43 pm | Reply

  14. Inigo: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.
    Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

    Comment by Selah March — December 2, 2007 @ 5:51 pm | Reply

  15. Valerie: “Bye bye boys, have fun stormin’ the castle! [pause] Think they have a chance?”

    Max: “It would take a miracle.”

    Comment by Barbara Caridad Ferrer — December 2, 2007 @ 7:40 pm | Reply

  16. I am completely lost. I think my brain fried itself Saturday and needs a reboot.

    Comment by FerfeLaBat — December 3, 2007 @ 6:57 pm | Reply

  17. You don’t know from Princess Bride, ferfe? INCONCEIVABLE.

    Comment by Selah March — December 5, 2007 @ 9:42 am | Reply


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