Selah March

September 21, 2008

There she goes again.

Filed under: blah blah blah — Selah March @ 11:36 am

I know it’s not in my best interest to fly my left-wing freak flag where I’m supposed to be promoting my fiction. I mean, I KNOW this. It’s burned me before. But since I can’t seem to work up a head of steam over anything but politics right at the moment, and this space is just begging for a little content…

Point the First: If you never watched THE WEST WING, some of this will make no sense to you. All you really need to know is that Jed Bartlet was a fictional president played for seven seasons by Martin Sheen on an award-winning TV show. He was liberal, brilliant, and often crucified for it. He was replaced by Jimmy Smits in the final season.

Point the Second: Yeah, I know Aaron Sorkin is a drug addict who was arrested in an airport for carrying a few different kinds of controlled substances. But Aaron Sorkin isn’t running for president, he’s just making a comment about the current contenders. And? George W. Bush is an admitted alcoholic who was arrested for driving under the influence, and nobody seems to have a problem with his being the leader of the free world, so.

Here’s a link to a make-believe conversation between Jed Bartlet and Barack Obama.

Remember, it’s FICTION. Mr. Obama never had this conversation; it was written by that evil, lefty drug addict, Sorkin – incidentally, also the author of the Tom Cruise/Jack Nicholson vehicle, A FEW GOOD MEN.

Still, it’s damned compelling fiction that uses a bunch of facts to bolster its argument.

My favorite bits?

OBAMA …They pivoted off the argument that I was inexperienced to the criticism that I’m — wait for it — the Messiah, who, by the way, was a community organizer. When I speak I try to lead with inspiration and aptitude. How is that a liability?

BARTLET Because the idea of American exceptionalism doesn’t extend to Americans being exceptional. If you excelled academically and are able to casually use 690 SAT words then you might as well have the press shoot video of you giving the finger to the Statue of Liberty while the Dixie Chicks sing the University of the Taliban fight song. The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.

OBAMA You’re saying race doesn’t have anything to do with it?

BARTLET I wouldn’t go that far. Brains made me look arrogant but they make you look uppity. Plus, if you had a black daughter —

OBAMA I have two.

BARTLET — who was 17 and pregnant and unmarried and the father was a teenager hoping to launch a rap career with “Thug Life” inked across his chest, you’d come in fifth behind Bob Barr, Ralph Nader and a ficus.


AND…

OBAMA The problem is we can’t appear angry. Bush called us the angry left. Did you see anyone in Denver who was angry?

BARTLET Well … let me think. …We went to war against the wrong country, Osama bin Laden just celebrated his seventh anniversary of not being caught either dead or alive, my family’s less safe than it was eight years ago, we’ve lost trillions of dollars, millions of jobs, thousands of lives and we lost an entire city due to bad weather. So, you know … I’m a little angry.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

***

I apologize to those I’ve offended by linking to this essay. If I had an agent, he or she would no doubt be beating me about the head and shoulders with one of my three copies of the last Dixie Chicks CD. For anyone who’s still interested, I’ll be blogging on the topic of balancing plot with smut in m/m erotic romance later this week. Should be a hoot.

Happy Sunday, y’all. There are 45 days left till the election.

3 Comments »

  1. I am loving you SO FUCKING HARD right now.

    Comment by evagale — September 22, 2008 @ 9:33 am | Reply

  2. Can I have YOUR babies?

    Comment by Kerry Allen — September 22, 2008 @ 10:26 am | Reply

  3. always hold your values closer to your heart than your ambitions 😀

    Comment by ann — September 22, 2008 @ 4:54 pm | Reply


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